Off the Cuff

[#1]

The answer, according to our recent and completely unscientific poll of co-workers, is that women love it, men tolerate it. Surprised? Probably not. Just as women have endured marathon sports weekends, so too must these same men suffer through this decidedly girly holiday.

The stores have been bedecked in red fluffiness for weeks. We’re just now beginning to make a dent in the massive stockpile of heart-shaped chocolates that can be found in every grocery store, gas station, mall and gift depot.

But hey, I’m not a cynic. Truth be told, I love Valentine’s Day. In fact, I love sending plates of red velvet cupcakes topped with white frosting and edible twinkle hearts to my daughter’s school.

My hubby’s a romantic and he’s never missed a birthday or a Valentine’s Day. I like to think it’s because I’m special, and not because of the 37 notes and emails I send prior to the special day.  

And so, send that someone special...something special...but you might want to try and avoid the...

Treats you Love to Hate!

This full pound of gummy heart might not be the most romantic gesture.

           Bacon mints?  Wrong on a couple of counts!

Generally I'd say that you can't go wrong with Monkey Picked Tea, but it might
not be a hit on Valentine's Day.

        Just because you CAN say anything on candy, 
                               doesn't mean you should!

Trying to send a message here?

[#2]

You know what I'd love to see on Valentine's Day, instead of high calorie chocolates and expensive (and often cheesy) cards? I'd love to have my husband or loved ones make a donation to a charity or cause I support. So they can say, "Hey, I love you so much that I sent money to that animal rights group you love, because it matters to you and you matter to me." Now THAT'S a message I'd like to hear! Otherwise, I have to side with the guys on this one. Valentine's Day is one big opportunity for consumer spending that is just so not necessary. There are a thousand ways to say I love you throughout the year, I really don't need chocolates...

[#3]

I hear you petgirl, but I don't think every body remembers to say I love you throughout the year.  I like Valentines Day because it is a reminder -- and because kids seem to love it so much!

[#4]

Although I agree with petgirl about the rampant consumerism, I can never say no to chocolate!  How about a donation to my favorite charity with a tiny chocolate on the side. I know.  I'm flawed.

[#5]

for me it's just an excuse to bake for my family...i don't feel as though i need to spend a lot of money...just a homemade cake or cupcakes will do...i think where it's awkward is if you're in a new relationship that hasn't really settled into being serious...then the pressure can be enormous... what do you do without suggesting more of a commitment than there is...and what if you don't treat it equally?  i'm glad those days are over ...

[#6]

Forget the chocolate and the cards.  I just think it's a good excuse to do something thoughtful for someone you love.  And it doesn't have to be expensive.  It could be a nice dinner at home and an old movie -- maybe Spencer Tracey and Katherine Hepburn or William Powell and Myrna Loy or even Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall.  The important thing is to use the occasion to remind the people you love that you love them.

[#7]

Moviemad, I like the way you think!

[#8]

But it bothers me that people would need a major holiday to do something thoughtful for someone they love, or to remember what they mean to each other, or to say "I love you." I think every day should include components like that. I live by that philosophy. I never let an opportunity pass to tell someone I care about how I feel, or to just hold one of my kids for a long moment of utter bliss, or to tell my husband each morning as he leaves for work that I love him and will be thinking of him. Life is too short, and things can happen so quickly. Love is so precious. How we can need a holiday to remember that is just alien to my thinking. Sorry for the rant. That's just me. lol

[#9]

Rant away, petgirl! Seriously, I don't see it as an either-or thing.  I don't think people who celebrate Valentine's Day are "off the hook" for the rest of the year.  I agree that telling people you love them should be something you do every day and not just on certain holidays.  I don't think we need the holiday to remember to do the right thing.  I am just a lover of rituals, and I like the idea of turning a commercial holiday into something more personal and coming up with your own way to celebrate it.  I also imagine that for those who are less comfortable telling people they love them, this provides a more comfortable avenue.  The bottom line, as you say, is that life is short and we should appreciate those we love as frequently and loudly as we can!

[#10]

I like your thinking moviemad, and I agree. I think petgirl has a point, but I also love the little rituals we can create for special holidays, just because they're fun. I always tuck a card into my husband's lunch, and I'll leave candies under his pillow - silly things that say I'm thinking of him. And when my kids were little, they always got little presents from me at breakfast or in their lunch boxes, with a tiny stuffed animals and some candy and a love note from mom.

[#11]

Despite my mixed feelings about his predictions, one of the rituals in our household as the kids have been growing up, is that I bake a groundhog cake every groundhog day. So we don't have a big Valentine's Day thing, but every February 2nd I bake a chocolate cake in the shape of a groundhog and when I frost it (with chocolate) I kind of spike up the frosting so it looks like fur, and then I add pasta whiskers and candy eyes and so forth. Usually it lies in a bed of coconut snow. The first year I made it my oldest son said it looked like a giant cat turd (but he ate it anyway). One year I did three little groundhogs (chocolate cupcake ones) popping up out of a vanilla cake. The other part of the ritual is that we all dance around the kitchen table sticking out our hands like paws and singing the I'm All Right song from Caddy Shack. I know, we're odd. lol

[#12]

I feel like a failure as a mother.  I never did anything so elaborate for my children on Groundhog's Day. I love the idea of the little groundhogs popping out of the larger cake. Way to go, petgirl!

[#13]

i like making cupcakes but i never thought of making groundhogs out of them...pretty cool petgirl...

[#14]

Groundhogs sound delicious.  Who knew?

As for Valentines Day, well I for one don't enjoy the pressure to conform to the societal expectation.  Of course, I still get the flowers and stuff, but I don't think that it's remotely romantic, really.  "Here are these flowers you're expecting me to get you or you'll resent me and think I don't really love you because your friend got a honking huge bouquet from her guy, who is apparently over compensating for not paying enough attention to her all year long."  Not quite the same as a daily "hey, I love you cause you're just that awesome, y'know?" and the irregular surprise of flowers for no other reason than to celebrate your being together.

So, yeah.  My two cents.

[#15]

I looooove Valentine's Day! I love the flowers and the chocolates and the dinners out and the tennis bracelets and sexy lingerie. It is just so nice to be appreciated and have the guys in my life show me how beautiful and wonderful they think I am. Not all at once, of course. I have to schedule stuff so I tend to do more of, like, a Valentine's Day weekend with different meals in different places. Rafferty, you sound so unromantic. You must be single. Just saying.

[#16]

Um, yeah. I'm unromantic.  Why go out to dinner when you can nuke stuff at home for way less?  I think it says more about how I value my mate that I'm frugal and pragmatic.  Flowers schmowers.  How about a nice new Vacuum for Valentines day?  What says I love you more than something to help you clean the house faster? ;-)

[#17]

A much better Valentines present is when my husband actually USES the vacuum!

[#18]

It's the thought that counts.  I thought about vacuuming, but then my favorite show came on.  ;-)

[#19]

I like booklover's point. Even though I'm more of a romantic than rafferty apparently is, I would take a day off of housecleaning rather than flowers any day. Although my husband certainly does his fair share of chores, whenever he does EXTRA I definitely appreciate it! I do like rafferty's point about the pleasure of random moments of thoughtfulness too. I guess I like it all!