Sandy-gram

[#1]

I went to a wedding over the weekend. I find it fascinating that, without fail, this sentimental event turns average people into silly, fun-loving, uninhibited dancers. The wedding itself is always a proper affair. Everyone’s decked out in their finery, great aunts with matching suits and hats and 20 something nieces in super tight minis.  (Note to ladies…this is probably not an event you’re going to find your next great love, after all, they are all relatives).

The event starts low-key enough, lots of food, toasts, hugging, reminiscing, pictures pulled from purses, gossiping and plenty of critiques on the brides and bridal party’s attire. The bride was stunning in an off the shoulder number. And, not surprisingly, the bridesmaids were dressed in the mandatory tiffany blue chiffon.

After an hour or so of flowing champagne, wine and cocktails, the crowd starts to loosen up. And, the DJ is ready to boogie. He warms everyone up with the bride and groom’s first dance. Their music of choice?  Lionel Ritchies Endless Love. I know…shocker, right?

And then you have the entire bridal party on the dance floor. Tall female cousins paired with the husband's somewhat shorter best friends. The DJ now knew it was time to make his move, and pulled out the Power of Love by Huey Lewis. He watches as the first smattering of brave souls take to the dance floor.

But he’s got more in his little bag of tricks. It’s time for Play that Funky Music by Wild Cherry. Yep, the dance floor is filling up. Now it’s time to really nail it with the ultimate group grabber….The Electric Slide. This is the ultimate wedding chic song. Sisters haul their moms to the floor. Nieces grab their aunts, daughters grab cousins…pretty soon the entire dance floor is made up of a wild mix of women, and a few daring men, all dancing in unison to “It’s Electric! Boogie, woogie, woogie!”

 After several other mandatory wedding songs (Another one Bites the Dust, Conga and Time Warp), pretty much everyone has hit the dance floor. Elderly great uncles are dancing with sugar-driven flower girls, aunts who probably haven’t danced in 20 years (or since the last wedding) are doing the pony, the overly drunk nephew home from college is “showing us how it’s done”, and a few uncomfortable looking husbands who are just being good sports to their tipsy wives.

 

And then it’s time. The Chicken Dance. The ultimate wedding classic. The floor fills up as husbands retreat to their tables, the remaining women and the bravest of men, dash to the dance floor. We flap our wings, we wiggle, we clap, we wag our tail feathers. Yep, the weddings complete. (View a how to do the Chicken Dance video.)  

Lyrics to the Chicken Dance.

I don't wanna be a chicken. I don't wanna be a duck. I don't wanna be a chicken. I don't wanna be a duck. So I shake my butt. na na na na na na na na na na na na I don't wanna be a chicken i don't wanna be a duck so I shake my butt. I don't wanna be a chicken. I don't wanna be a duck. na na na na na na na na na na na na I don't wanna be a chicken. I don't wanna be a duck. So I shake my butt. I don't wanna be a chicken. I don't wanna be a duck. na na na na na na na na na na na na.

[#2]

I've seen some crazy stuff at weddings...mostly alcohol fueled. I thought the worst was a couple of years ago. The groom went out the night before the wedding to a bachelor party...and was SO hungover the next day for the wedding that he had to go through the entire ceremony in a chair! I thought that was bad...until someone shared this with me.  Check it out!

[#3]

Oh my, that was hilarious! The video on the clumsy best man. haha I loved the blog about the dancing. I am so shy about dancing and yet I find at weddings I'm willing to get up there and dance, thinking only about the fun and not being paranoid that 100 people are watching me be graceless in an uncomfortable dress. The night before my own wedding I actually managed to break one of my big toes and had an excuse to stay seated and let everyone come to me. But since then, I've enjoyed weddings and the opportunity to let loose a little!

[#4]

That video is funny and horrifying at the same time!  I wonder what happened AFTER the video cut off.  Was there a brief intermission while the bride and minister dried off, or did they jump right back into the ceremony, drips and all?  Did the best man throw himself into the pool to commiserate -- or to get away from the angry mob?!  It must have brought new meaning to the phrase "for better or for worse"!

[#5]

OMG, that was a riot!  But so painful . . . I have to feel for that poor woman!  My uncle told me once that when his college roommate got married, the groom got wasted at his batchelor party the night before, and they had a medical student put a full cast on his leg.  They told him he broke his leg while drunk, and he went up the aisle the next day on crutches, after having to cut his tux leg.  When the newlyweds left on their honeymoon, they gave him a letter as he left that told him to go to a doctor and get the cast cut off, his leg wasn't broken.  The bride never forgave them, but he still thought it was hysterical . . . . .

[#6]

That's crazy...I think I would have killed the medical student!  I went to a wedding a few years ago and the bridal bouquet catch was toward the end of the night. The bridal party had been fighting. Two fo the bridesmaids were best friends of the bride, but hated each other over some previous boyfriend rivalry. When it came to catch the bouquet, both ladies were pretty tipsy. The bride threw the flowers and the one bridesmaid jumped in the air catching it just before it landed in the other bridesmaid's hand. She was so MAD about her "stealing" the bouquet that they started to fight. The one ripped the bouquet out of the other's hands, and then ran and hid behind the bridal table. The other one chased her, all the while screaming, "You stole that, you b*$%#*!" They started fighting, ripping apart the bouquet!

In the end, the husband and one of his bridegroom's had to hold them apart!  It was hilarious and the DJ got into it and said, "In this corner, we have..."

[#7]

I'm wondering if anyone has ever been to a wedding where someone interrupted the ceremony to explain why the couple shouldn't be married?  You see this in the movies, but has this actually ever happened?  Given the stories above, I wouldn't be surprised if it has....

[#8]

I actually went to the wedding of an old boyfriend many years ago and when they got to that part, a guy from the bride's side stood up and said, "She can't marry him. She's already married to me." After everyone gasped and freaked out, he said "Just kidding." Apparently he had taken on a dare. Pretty tasteless, I think. I don't recall seeing him at the reception...No news reports of the body being found either. haha

[#9]

Speaking of weddings, I have a new theory based on the MANY weddings I've attended in my life so far.  Almost all of the couples I know who smooshed cake in each other's faces at their wedding ended up getting divorced years later!  Has anyone else noticed this or is it only my experience?

[#10]

I know that people I remember did not smash the cake -- my husband and I, good friends -- are still happily married!

[#11]

Oh my God! I smooshed cake into my (first) husband's face at our wedding reception. I guess that was a bad sign. Oddly enough, I didn't do that to my second husband...

[#12]

So far my scientific (ha) theory seems to be holding up.  Are there any other stories out there to add to this growing pile of evidence?

[#13]

I did NOT smush cake into my husband's face, as to me that would have been inappropriate. Especially on a day that was all about our vows to each other, respect, love, nurturing each other. We've been married for 23 years now, and still going strong. He's a little tubbier than he was, and I'm a lot rounder than I used to be, but we're still best friends, lovers and partners in everything we do.

[#14]

Okay, okay, so I made a mistake! I smooshed the cake! But why didn't anyone tell me ahead of time that my marriage would end if I smooshed the cake?? Is there anything else I should have known? Any other signs that anyone knows of that mean a marriage is doomed?

[#15]

This is starting to sound like a Seinfeld episode!  I think gardendigger is on to something.  Perhaps the reason that smooshing cake is a harbinger of bad things to come is that it reveals a lack of respect -- perhaps a comfort level that is too comfortable.  My parents have been married for over 60 years, and although I know there are times when they aggravate each other, they always remain respectful and apologize whenever they've been irritable or unreasonable.  They also try never to say the unforgivable.  They're not perfect, but they sure are good role models.  

As for you, petgirl.  Even though no one told you not to smoosh the cake, the fact that you didn't with your second husband and that you have such a great marriage indicates that you loved and respected each other and innately knew not to do it.  

[#16]

Since I like to tie my whole life to movies, I'd love to hear about people's favorite movies (funny, crazy or serious) that feature weddings. These may or may not involve smooshing cake

My initial votes are for Four Weddings and a Funeral (with Hugh Grant, Andie MacDowell and Kristin Scott Thomas) and Philadelphia Story (with Cary Grant, Katherine Hepburn, and Jimmy Stewart). 

Who has some other good ones to recommend?

[#17]

I LOVED Four Weddings and a Funeral! There's also Father of the Bride. The Wedding Singer. My Big Fat Greek Wedding. My Best Friend's Wedding. The Wedding Planner.  The Princess Bride. (When we renew our vows we're going to have the minister start out with the quote, "Mawwiage is what bwings us togetha today..." lol

[#18]

I love petgirl's plan for when she renews her vows!  And I totally forgot about My Big Fat Greek Wedding.  That was very funny. And didn't Bend it Like Beckham have a great Indian wedding at the end?  Speaking of which, is the Indian sister who gets married in that movie the same actress that is currently amazing in the TV show "The Good Wife"?  That woman is a wonderful actress, but I haven't seen Bend It Like Beckham recently enough to know.  I guess I could always check imdb....

Speaking of Indian weddings, I went to one last summer and it was incredible.  It was beautiful and filled with wonderful rituals and music and flowers and dancing that got everyone involved. And the food...heavenly.  

[#19]

I love going to weddings that have different rituals than I'm used to. The Indian wedding moviemad mentioned sounds amazing. Were there elephants? Seriously, I had heard that when the circumstances permit, the bride and groom still ride in on elephants. I don't know if my friend (who's Indian) was pulling my leg or was serious. Does anyone know?

[#20]

The Indian wedding I saw was held in a subdivision so elephants weren't an option. They did have the bride in a beautifully decorated jeep (with its top off). She and her bridesmaids stood in the back and danced to the music blasting out of the speakers. Meanwhile the groom and his extended family and friends barred the way to the actual wedding (which was held in the bride's back yard). The ritual is to have a dance off between the bride's and the groom's family with the groom finally allowing the bride and her entourage to pass through.  It was a blast! And all the neighbors were peeking out of their upstairs windows at the spectacle of it all. I felt like I was on a movie set!

[#21]

What a neat ritual. I loved my own wedding, but it was pretty mild compared to moviemad's description above. 

[#22]

Wow!  That sounds amazing moviemad!  One of the more interesting weddings I attended was the one where the bride fainted just as she was supposed to say her vows.  The bride suddenly knelt, and the groom looked at her as if to say "not now honey!"  And then she just toppled over, like the little guy that used to right the tricycle on Laugh-In.  The wedding party rushed to help her up, they got her a chair, and she said her vows with her head in her lap.  I loved the fact that the groom went down on one knee next to her so that their heads were at the same level, and touched her face as he said his vows. 

[#23]

What a sweet story, booklover. I think that marriage shows promise already! 

[#24]

I loved all these stories! I didn't realize there was such variety to weddings. But of course with different cultures that makes sense. The Indian wedding dance off sounds just fabulous! What a cool way to start a ritual. I saw a great movie a while ago called Bride and Prejudice, which was like a Bollywood version of Pride and Prejudice and there was a wedding in it. Such vivid, bright colors and singing and dancing! It seemed like so much fun and so full of life. I'm not sure I'm ever going to get married, though. The idea of tying myself to someone is kind of scary. How did you guys know you had met the right person? I used to fall in love a lot, especially when I was living in LA because the guys there were just so hot and everyone is suntanned and healthy and stuff but relationships never seemed to last. We'd get into dumb fights about stuff like what kind of take-out to order or who got to pick the video. I mean, jeez, I have never been able to stay awake during Star Wars. I mean, really? Light sabers? So phallic. Puh-lease. Anyway, I really am curious how you guys who are married knew that he was the "one"???

[#25]

In response to Honeybuns' question about how you know when someone's "the one," I can only speak from my own experience. For me I really did have this intense sense right away, and this was in my mid-twenties after several other love affairs. But I definitely tested the relationship. I asked my then boyfriend about every issue under the sun!  Even though we don't share all the same views, we both love books and music and movies and politics and food and pets and nature and chocolate and wine and travel. We also enjoy many of the same sports. We love to debate and really love each other's family so that helps. I find him challenging and funny and smart and impressive. I know this makes him sound perfect -- he's not, and neither am I. But we really enjoy being together after 24 years. Some days it's easy, and some days it takes work, but it's always worth it.

By the way, Honeybuns, there's a related discussion answering some of your questions in the His and Her Finances thread (or whatever it's technically called). You might want to take a look at that. Good luck!

[#26]

I think the way that I knew was that I was always happier being with him than I was being alone.  That had been true some of the time with other people, but it was never 100%.  With my husband, it's always true, mostly I think because he lets me be myself, which make it very easy!

[#27]

I knew right away when I met my husband that he was my soulmate. He asked me to marry him two days later. He felt so familiar to me, so right, and yet also exciting. As if somehow I had known him before but had to relearn everything about him because we'd been apart. We talked about everything under the sun, and while we don't agree on everything, one thing we do well is that we communicate with each other. If we disagree about something, we'll talk about it. We've never had a classic "fight" because we just don't let it get to that. And I agree with booklover - we can be completely ourselves, with no pretense, no facades. I am utterly comfortable with my husband and love being with him. I have always enjoyed solitary time but since I married him have not felt much of a need for it - I'd much rather just relax with him.

[#28]

I agree with petgirl and booklover. There's definitely the comfort of being yourself and yet I also think it's important not to act like anything goes. In other words, I think there needs to be civility and respect and, above all, communication. It's like being with a best friend; your ease with each other doesn't mean you can be rude or offensively honest. In fact, in a great marriage, I think your spouse should be your best friend...someone you enjoy during the exciting times, the anxious times, and the daily routine.

[#29]

I just LOOOOOVE the chicken dance.